Resources

Online Supportive Resources

Compassionate Friends
http://www.compassionatefriends.org

Erin's House
www.erinshouse.org

Bereaved Parents of the USA
http://bereavedparentsusa.org

The M.I.S.S. Foundation
www.misschildren.org

The Sibling Connection
http://www.counselingstlouis.net/child.html

SHARE- Pregnancy and Infant Loss Support
http://www.nationalshareoffice.com/resources_faqs.shtml

Centering Corporation
www.centeringcorp.com

Living with Loss
www.bereavementmag.com

Center for Loss and Life Transition
www.centerforloss.com

The National Center for Grieving Children and Families
www.dougy.org

Good Grief Resources
www.goodgriefresources.com

Share: Pregnancy and Infant Loss, Inc.
www.nationalshareoffice.com

Wintergreen Press
www.wintergreenpress.com

Neo-Fight
www.neofight.org

Grief Watch
www.griefwatch.com

A Place to Remember
www.aplacetoremember.com

 

Printed Grief Resources

Below are recommended resources that have been reviewed for appropriateness for children.  Most local bookstores and public libraries have a wide variety of books related to grief and bereavement.  You may find that there are other books that are well-suited for your individual needs and circumstances.

 

Pre-School / Young School-Age Children

Am I Still a Sister? Alicia Sims
This book was written when the author was eleven and reflects the discoveries she made after her baby brother died.

How I Feel, Alan Wolfelt
This coloring book for kids ages 3-8 explores many of the feelings grieving children often experience.  The expressive, easy-to-color drawings clearly depict disbelief, fear, anger, loneliness, happiness, sadness, and other normal grief feelings. The simple text accompanying the drawings provides grieving children words to describe their new, sometimes scary feelings.

I know I Made it Happen:  Children and Guilt, Lynn Blackburn.
A look at feelings when there's a family fight, divorce, illness, injury or death.  Provides children with support and understanding during crisis situations.

 

No New Baby:  For Siblings Who Have a Brother or Sister Die Before Birth, Marilyn Gryte.
For siblings who have a brother or sister die before birth.  Grandma explains that no one is to blame for deaths, and that we don't always have answers for why things like this happen (available in Spanish).

Liplap's Wish, Jonathan London
Liplap sadly remembers his grandmother as he builds the winter's first snowbunny.  Liplap is comforted by an old Rabbit's tale that his mother tells of how, long ago, when the First Rabbits died, they became stars in the sky.  And to this day, they come out at night and watch over us, reminding us that our loved ones shine forever in our hearts.

The Fall of Freddie the Leaf: A Story of Life for All Ages, Leo Bucaglia
A simple story about a leaf named Freddie.  Freddie's companion leaves, changing with the passing seasons and finally falling to the ground with winter's snow.  The wonderful story is warm and illustrates the delicate balance between life and death.

I Had a Friend Named Peter: Talking to Children About the Death of a Friend,  Janice Cohn
When Betsy learns about the death of a friend, her parents and kindergarten teacher answer questions about dying, funerals, and the burial process.

Help Me Say Goodbye: Activities for Helping Kids Cope When a Special Person Dies, Janis Silverman
An art therapy and activity book for children coping with death.  Sensitive exercises address all the questions children may have during this emotional and troubling crisis.  Children are encouraged to express in pictures what they often are not able to express in words.

 

School-Age Children

Am I Still a Sister? Alicia Sims
This book was written when the author was eleven and reflects the discoveries she made after her baby brother died.

After the Funeral, Jane Loretta Winsch. 
This book addresses common concerns children may have after the loss of a loved one.  Children are reassured that other people feel the same way through talking about their feelings.

The Fall of Freddie the Leaf: A Story of Life for All Ages, Leo Bucaglia
A simple story about a leaf named Freddie.  Freddie's companion leaves, changing with the passing seasons and finally falling to the ground with winter's snow.  The wonderful story is warm and illustrates the delicate balance between life and death.

How I Feel, Alan Wolfelt
This coloring book for kids ages 3-8 explores many of the feelings grieving children often experience.  The expressive, easy-to-color drawings clearly depict disbelief, fear, anger, loneliness, happiness, sadness, and other normal grief feelings. The simple text accompanying the drawings provides grieving children words to describe their new, sometimes scary feelings.

No New Baby:  For Siblings Who Have a Brother or Sister Die Before Birth, Marilyn Gryte.
For siblings who have a brother or sister die before birth.  Grandma explains that no one is to blame for deaths, and that we don't always have answers for why things like this happen (available in Spanish).

Sam's Dad Died: A Child's Book of Hope Through Grief, Margaret Holmes
Molly's Mom Died:  A Child's Book of Hope Through Grief, Margaret Holmes
These two picture books have gentle illustrations and reassuring text to help young children understand the grief process.  The books validate both the negative and positive feelings and the behaviors that are typical for children who have lost a parent.  There is a caregiver section at the back of the book that could help adults answer questions and deal with particular concerns.

Rachel and the Upside Down Heart, Eileen Douglas
When Rachel is four years old, her daddy dies, changing her life forever.  At first, Rachel feels so sad it's as if her heart is upside down.  This is the true story of how Rachel rediscovers happiness while keeping the memory of her father alive in her heart.

I Had a Friend Named Peter: Talking to Children About the Death of a Friend,  Janice Cohn
When Betsy learns about the death of a friend, her parents and kindergarten teacher answer questions about dying, funerals, and the burial process.

Help Me Say Goodbye: Activities for Helping Kids Cope When a Special Person Dies, Janis Silverman
An art therapy and activity book for children coping with death.  Sensitive exercises address all the questions children may have during this emotional and troubling crisis.  Children are encouraged to express in pictures what they often are not able to express in words.

 

Tear Soup,  Pat Schweibert
In this modern fable, accompanied with full color illustrations, a woman who has suffered a terrible (unnamed) loss cooks up a special batch of "tear soup," blending the unique ingredients of her life into the grief process. Along the way she dispenses a recipe of sound advice for those who are in mourning or know someone who has suffered a loss. With more than 60,000 copies in print, Tear Soup is one of the most popular grief resources available for children and adults.

Sad Isn't Bad: A Good Grief Guidebook for Kids Dealing With Loss, Michaelene Mundy
Well-crafted summary of the grief process, the book has 14 sections of two to three paragraphs that discuss the various aspects of grief, and the ways people cope with the death of loved ones. Written for a young audience, the material is valuable for all ages. While assuming the concept of life after death, this book is sensitive to differences in religious belief and practices and provides opportunities for the young reader to think, to ask questions, and to grow. The illustrations are clever and interesting to young children, they support the message in the text. An introductory message to adults who are working with children offers additional insights and ideas for working through grief.

 

Adolescents

I Will Remember You:  What to do When Someone You Love Dies, Laura Dower
Contains information on different religious traditions.

When Death Walks In: For Teenagers Facing Grief, Mark Scrivani
A look at ways of facing grief during the teen years, and gives important information about grief and what we can do about anger, sadness, and all the emotions that come when death walks in.

Healing Your Grieving Heart For Teens:  100 Practical Ideas, Dr. Alan D. Wolfelt.
Speaks honestly to teens, affirming their thoughts and feelings and giving them dozens of teen-friendly ideas for understanding and coping with their grief.

Straight Talk About Death for Teenagers: How to Cope with Losing Someone You Love,  Earl A Grollman
In unique prose-poem format utilizing aphorisms and quotation fragments, Grollman speaks directly and effectively to the hearts and minds of teenagers who are coping with the death of a friend or family member.  Sage advice and worldly wisdom from an author who understands both teenagers and grief.

The Grieving Teen: A Guide for Teenagers and Their Friends, Helen Fitzgerald
Although the circumstances surrounding a death are difficult to handle at any age, adolescence brings with it challenges and struggles that until now have been largely overlooked.  But in this unique and compassionate guide, renowned grief counselor Helen Fitzgerald turns her attention to the special needs of adolescents struggling with loss and gives them the tools they need to work through their pain and grief.

Death is Hard to Live with:  Teenagers Talk about How to Cope with Loss, Janet Bode
I just graduated from high school.  I feel we had a curse on my class.  Six people died.  The worst was Shannon, my best friend.  She was free-spirited, the last person you'd expect to die.  One day she's great.  The next day she's dead.  I wasn't prepared for it.

All Ages

Help Me Say Goodbye: Activities for Helping Kids Cope When a Special Person Dies, Janis Silverman
An art therapy and activity book for children coping with death.  Sensitive exercises address all the questions children may have during this emotional and troubling crisis.  Children are encouraged to express in pictures what they often are not able to express in words.

 

Tear Soup,  Pat Schweibert, et al
In this modern fable, accompanied with full color illustrations, a woman who has suffered a terrible (unnamed) loss cooks up a special batch of "tear soup," blending the unique ingredients of her life into the grief process. Along the way she dispenses a recipe of sound advice for those who are in mourning or know someone who has suffered a loss. With more than 60,000 copies in print, Tear Soup is one of the most popular grief resources available for children and adults.

Sad Isn't Bad: A Good Grief Guidebook for Kids Dealing With Loss, Michaelene Mundy
Well-crafted summary of the grief process, the book has 14 sections of two to three paragraphs that discuss the various aspects of grief, and the ways people cope with the death of loved ones. Written for a young audience, the material is valuable for all ages. While assuming the concept of life after death, this book is sensitive to differences in religious belief and practices and provides opportunities for the young reader to think, to ask questions, and to grow. The illustrations are clever and interesting to young children, they support the message in the text. An introductory message to adults who are working with children offers additional insights and ideas for working through grief.

After the Funeral, Jane Loretta Winsch. 
This book addresses common concerns children may have after the loss of a loved one.  Children are reassured that other people feel the same way through talking about their feelings.

 

For Adults

For Better Or Worse, Maribeth Wilder Doerr
For Better Or Worse was written to help strengthen marriages after a child dies. It explores the differences in gender grief, building your relationship after your child dies, how to help each other heal and includes a grief chat. While it's important to respect your spouse's needs, it's also wise to respect your own. You must take care of yourself both physically and emotionally before you can begin to help your partner or your children (or: Put on your oxygen mask before helping those around you).

A Child's View of Grief, Dr. Alan D. Wolfelt
This concise resource for parents of grieving kids explores several key principles for helping children cope with grief and offers ways to create an emotional environment filled with love and acceptance.  It answers common questions such as "What should I say to children when someone they love dies?" and "Should young children attend funerals?"  This guide also identifies and explains typical behaviors, thoughts, and feelings of grieving kids and offers adults tips for responding to them.

Talking About Death: A Dialogue Between Parent and Child, Earl Grollman
A compassionate guide for adults and children to read together, featuring a read along story, answers to questions children ask about death and a comprehensive list of resources and organizations that can help.

Grief in Children: A Handbook for Adults,  Atle Dyregrov
A short book which looks at children's understanding of death and outlines practical ways in which adults can respond.  Good as a general resource for teachers and support staff.

Unspoken Grief: Coping with Childhood Sibling Loss, Helen Rosen
The author describes young children's reactions to the loss of a sibling.  She explains how the grieving process is prolonged by prohibitions against mourning.

Sibling Bereavement: Helping Children Cope with Loss, Ann Farrant
The emotional effect of losing a brother or sister can result in severe trauma for a child.  Many children find it difficult to mourn a lost sibling, and parents can have a hard time helping their children while they themselves are mourning.  The author uses real-life case studies to illustrate her points, and clarification of the issues involved is provided throughout by the views of an experienced psychologist who has worked with disturbed children.

For Those Who Live: Helping Children Cope with the Death of a Brother or Sister, Kathy LaTour
This is not a long book, but its heartfelt compassion shines through every page.  Only a bereaved sibling could have written it.  The book talks about what happens when you lose a sibling-the grief that doesn't match what it "should," the changes in family dynamics, the struggles and the hope.  Using wisdom gathered from many sources, the author helps the reader face the reality of loss.

Healing Your Holiday Grief: 100 Practical Ideas for Blending Mourning and Celebration During the Holiday Season, Alan Wolfelt
Grieving the death of someone loved is always hard, but during the holiday season it can be overwhelming.  Is it possible to mourn and celebrate at the same time?  What if you don't feel like keeping up with family traditions? How can you cope with your pain when everyone around you is so joyful?  This practical book answers these questions.  Topics covered include honoring your thoughts and feelings, giving yourself permission to mourn, deciding what is important and what isn't, creating new traditions, finding ways to de-stress, and incorporating healing rituals into your holidays.

I Have No Intention of Saying Goodbye: Parents Share Their Stories of Hope and Healing After A Child's Death, Sandy Fox , Robin Byrne, Scott Fox
Five or more years after the death of their children, twenty-five families open their hearts and share stories of courage, hope and their attempts to make sense out of the most unbearable loss of all. What did they do to move on with their lives, to make each day meaningful again, to remember their child? In addition to helping themselves, learn how these parents help others and what advice they give to those still having difficulty living in a world without their child.

Perinatal/Infant Loss

Empty Arms, Sherokee Ilse
Classic book that reaches out to all who have experienced infant loss, written by an author who has experienced it herself.  Available in Spanish.

We Were Going to Have a Baby, But We Had an Angel Instead, Pat Schwiebert
Illustrated book for siblings about the loss of a baby brother or sister.  Contains helpful advice for parents to help children grieve.

Strong and Tender, Pat Schwiebert
A book for fathers following their baby's death.  It recognizes the significance of their loss and helps them acknowledge it fully.

A Guide For Fathers:  When a Baby Dies Tim Nelson
This pocket sized book is for men whoexperince the death of their infant child.

A Grandparent's Sorrow, Pat Schwiebert
Offers grieving grandparents support in their own sorrow while warmly suggesting ways they can help their children following the death of their baby.  A section for parents whose relationship with their children was already strained at the time of the loss is one of many unique perspectives touched on.

An Empty Cradle, a Full Heart: Reflections for Mothers and Fathers After Miscarriage, Stillbirth, or Infant Death, Christine Lafser
This collection of more than an hundred short meditations beautifully interweaves the very real feelings of bereaved parents with Scripture passages that provide comfort, direction, and a sense of hope.

Pregnancy After a Loss: A Guide to Pregnancy After a Miscarriage, Stillbirth, or Infant Death, Carol Lanham
A 'must have' guide for the devastated couple dealing with the many questions and fears that occur with a subsequent pregnancy.

When a Baby Dies: The Experience of Late Miscarriage, Stillbirth, and Neonatal Death, Nancy Kohner
A straightforward and honest look at the aftermath of late miscarriage, stillbirth, and neonatal death using a combination of information and personal stories.